Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.