I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail