We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
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i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
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Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.