If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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