I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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