drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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