I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
