so that wasnt chicken after all
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
There's a naked man in my car right now.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
