omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I hope mine doesn't look like that
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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