Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
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Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
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Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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