Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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