Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
