he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
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to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize