Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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