Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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