do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
