Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize