stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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