am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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