I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
