I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
