i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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