Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize