I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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