I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I need moral support for this bender
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
