I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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