it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
