why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
