It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
