What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
