i jhust puked up my retainher.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
