I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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