I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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