Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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