Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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