You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
