Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
