you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
