Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
