Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
one two three fourrrrnication!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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