As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
