u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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