It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
