I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
