Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
