i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
