Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
