Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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