wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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