You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
