At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
