Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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