i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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