I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
