Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
