I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
