that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
it was like eating out sand paper
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
