You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
