the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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