She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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