I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's shark week go big or go home
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize