Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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