As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
