two words: eviction party
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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