I wish my penis had an off switch
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize