i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
