Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
