my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
These tits shall not be calmed
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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