He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
