"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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