So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
this beer tastes like vomit already
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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