he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
