We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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